Preston and Jackie Hill Perry, known for their candid discussions on faith and relationships, emphasize that maintaining a strong marriage amid public demands requires intentional effort rooted in spiritual growth and practical strategies. Their advice, shaped by personal struggles and ministry experience, highlights several key principles.
## Prioritizing Spiritual Foundation
The Perrys stress that marriage should reflect God’s design rather than societal norms. Preston admits early struggles with conforming to secular ideas of leadership, realizing true headship involves creating a “safe place” for vulnerability, not control. Jackie notes submission becomes natural when a husband’s leadership aligns with Scripture.
Both emphasize humility in addressing flaws. Preston shares how marriage exposed unresolved trauma, such as fear of abandonment, which required therapy and reliance on God rather than blaming his spouse. Jackie adds that tracing conflicts to past wounds—like her resistance to perceived control rooted in past abuse—helps couples separate present issues from historical pain.
## Practical Relationship Tools
The couple acknowledges tension when personal callings diverge. Jackie mentions patience in navigating differing visions, noting it took “years” to align on some of Preston’s ideas. They advocate for regular dialogue to ensure mutual support without idolizing the relationship.
Jackie warns against comparing spouses to others, calling it a form of covetousness. Preston stresses proactive boundaries, like avoiding situations that could lead to infidelity, while tying marital faithfulness to a deeper love for God.
## Leveraging Community and Resources
Both credit therapy for addressing individual and relational wounds. Preston highlights the impact of mentors like Gary, whose authentic faith modeled Christ-centered living.
They recommend events like Weekend to Remember to recharge relationships. Jackie also underscores the myth of spouses being “everything” to each other, advocating for external friendships to alleviate pressure.
In summary, the Perrys’ marriage advice blends spiritual discipline, honest communication, and practical safeguards, framed by their belief that God uses marriage to refine character. As Preston notes, “Marriage isn’t hard because you’re incompatible—it’s hard because you’re married”.
